THE MINISTER'S WIFE
"This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behaviour, hospitable, able to teach" - 1Tim 3:1-2
Amongst all the sisters that come for counselling, among all the sisters that serve him, and in the midst of all attractions, this minister of God has chosen just one woman to be his wife. He can't marry two, it has to be one, and that one is you. Whether he was led by God or whether he led himself is not the matter now - as you have become his wife; and that fulfills one of the qualifications of being a minister.
This is not only for the women, the man too will gain a great deal if he reads.
There are several other qualifications that makes a minister, but I will just focus on that of the wife. The minister's wife may not be 'made' in heaven, yet at this point, it is necessary to gain some understanding on their roles or their world in its entirety. I may not be able to totally enumerate all that there is in this matter, but I just hope the little stated will help you.
Beyond the need to meet a qualification, the wife of the minister is not just to satisfy a criteria; for you to be a wife means there are roles to play and sure the man would be incomplete without you. He may drip of anointing and call fire down on the altar, his wisdom may be so balanced and wonderful, but the man has a wife and of course she meets a need in his life. If the wife of a minister thinks she is just a show-piece beside her husband in the church, then she may be mistaken. She may make or mar his ministry, depending on how she understands and play her role.
It is also important to ask the minister, if he has met the requirement. The scripture say a man of one wife not two, in fact, other versions emphasize this requirement mainly based on the man's faithfulness to his wife. If you don't have one wife, you have not met the requirement.
We would try and draw some lessons from different women who were wives of different ministers, how they helped their husband and the basic roles they played in the man's ministry.
ZIPPORAH
"And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the LORD met him and sought to kill him. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses' feet, and said, 'Surely you are a husband of blood to me!'" - Exo 4:24-25
So prophet Moses' ministry had just begun, in fact, he was just on his way to the place of assignment and suddenly he was about to be killed, something wasn't actually right about his preparation, one of their sons had not been circumcised, Moses' life was at risk, how can someone die just when he was about fulfilling purpose?
No one is actually sure, if it was the wife who refused to allow the circumcision before or maybe it was Moses, but the major case at that moment was the life of her minister-husband, she needed to do the needful, she summoned courage and circumcised the child.
At this point, the scripture later pointed to us in Exodus chapter 18:2, that Moses' family did not continue the journey with him, maybe he thought they were distractions and all, maybe because he blamed his wife for bringing him to that point where his life was at risk, Moses decided to send his family back and continue the journey alone... In that wilderness, this man of God saw no need for his wife. Zipporah may have made a mistake or something, yet the man wanted to be a lone ranger. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law didn't think it was right for Moses to leave his family in Midian all in the name of ministry, the woman herself needed her husband, though Jethro could provide their meal, yet he couldn't perform the function of husband to Zipporah - he decided to take Moses' family to him.
Many ministers wife are suffering because their husband is 'anointed', they suffer loneliness and only smile when they are on the platform with their husband, many ministers wrongly think their wife is only to satisfy the criteria and they leave them all alone. At a point Moses married an Ethiopian woman, but what happened to Zipporah?
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the ife of his youth." - Malachi 2:14-15
The whole of Malachi chapter two was talking to the priests, the second thing God faulted them with was that they were unfaithful to their wives. I have heard of ministers who abandoned their wives who started out with them and went ahead to look for a 'pulpit wife', God may still be working in your ministry and you look untouchable, but please know - He frowns at this very act.
I personally think that, one of Moses' failings in the ministry was because he didn't really have a good family life. The minster must not make his wife suffer all because he wants to fulfill the ministry, as a mater of fact, she has obtained a part of the ministry. Faithfulness is not too much to ask from a man, she may not be a minister as you are but she is a wife and every wife should have a husband!
Dear pastor, please if you are married, you are also a husband, don't pastor your wife when you need to be her husband. It is important to also bring to bear at this point the exhortation of Apostle Peter in 1Pet 1:7, he said husbands should honour their wives, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life...
You think because she is not anointed, she doesn't deserve honour, the reason some men's ministry isn't progressing is because they have disrespect and dishonoured their wives in many ways. Do not think faithfulness is only a matter of fidelity.
THE PROPHET'S WIDOW
"A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, 'Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.'" - 2Kings 4:1
This minister was indebted till death, he had a wife and two sons that he willed as collateral, he promised to pay, maybe when members bring offering, but he died before he could pay back. The wife didn't have money, she was idle, all the while the man was doing ministry, she was busy praying for her husband... The man died, a faithful minister yet he was died a pauper.
This woman who had a reputation to protect, she needed wisdom, she needed to save her husbands name, if not, the sons of the prophet who served the living God would become slaves od mere men....that is not the testimony she wanted to share; she needed freedom from debt, her husband could only provide debt for her and her children.
While I wouldn't want to pass blames and because I certainly was not there; I would just point the minister's wife to the fact that...some things could be beyond that your anointed husband, he may feel incapacitated by a few needs in his life; do you want to wait till he dies before you seek divine help on his behalf? Thank God she knew what to do, thank God for His blessings of miracles.
God started a business for her, though she waited to be threatened, she would have died of hypertension. While God provided her the oil, he told her what to do with the oil, do business! I am not saying all ministers wife are called to business.
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." - 1Tim 5:8
The minister should also know that though your faith may be strong to trust God for the next meal and maybe you have decided that it is 'if I perish, I perish' matter - understand that your wife may know nothing about that; she must be carried along and strict financial discipline must be adhered to; especially because of the nature of the ministry. If she demands luxury, don't speak in tongues, that God will provide, explain in English language how you cannot afford it for the time been in love.
While it may be that the ministry is your only source of income which is obtainable, it is important that you don't leave your wife in the dark concerning the income, if she knows what comes in, she will not be unnecessarily demanding. Don't make your wife turn your children to 'church project', when you are gone.
MRS ZACHARIAS
"So it was, on the eight day, that they came to circumcise the child; and they would have called him by the name of his father, Zacharias. His mother answered and said, 'No; he shall be called John.'" - Luke 2:59-60
It happened that Zacharias since the visit of the angel Gabriel had become mute, he was the one that the angel appeared to, he was the one who heard the name that the child would be called - but he wouldn't be able to talk, how then will they know what he heard? But the truth for me is that, if a woman is one in spirit with her husband, the things of the spirit will flow in them both. Do not become over critical by saying Zacharias must have written it to her long before then...but the way the people marvelled showed that Elizabeth herself had gotten her own visitation.
Zacharias was a priest who served God faithfully and had many church members to attend to, but when it got to the matters of his home, his wife was carried along. She didn't tell the people that 'daddy will soon talk, so let's wait before we name the baby.' She knew what the mind of God was in that matter and did not allow anyone impose a name on their baby.
Another important matter for me in this case was that despite the man's inability to speak, there was a wife who had a courage to speak God's mind on behalf of her husband, she wasn't intimidated by those who wanted to name the child Zacharias...she insisted on God's agenda. Her husband could have been dumb or incapacitated yet she will do the same thing that God had instructed.
MRS PHINEHAS
"Then she named the child Ichabod, saying, 'The glory has departed from Israel!' because the ark of God had been captured and because of her father-in-law and her husband. And she said, 'The glory has departed from Israel, for the ark of God has been captured.'" - 1Sam 4:21-22
She admired the ephod on her husband, she loved how in looked in his priestly garments, not every young man had the privilege to be from the priestly household; it was an honour she wanted to be part of and fate brought the proposal to her. She saw the glamour of ministry and she ignored the weakness of the man behind the garments; she didn't understand that if a life wasn't consecrated totally to God it was disaster waiting to happen. You cannot substitute holiness for garments!
Many Mrs Phinehas are there today, you like the brother because he preaches so well, you got close and discovered that the brother cannot control his sexual urge, you knew it's bad but you like the idea of being called 'mummy pastor'; so you agreed to marry that man, just for the 'glory' of the office. Do not be deceived when disasters comes, you will not be left out...
So many want to marry a 'godly' man who stands behind the pulpit and drops the 'word', but they haven't taken time to seek God's face if they would be Ichabod or not... She didn't regard the child, she knew the ark of God that made the priesthood meaningful too has been taken away. What is the idea of calling Ichabod a priest without the ark of God. What is the idea of saying you are pastor's wife without the power of God in his life? She knew all along that the 'bro' had something to deal with!
CONCLUSION:
The minister and the wife need to understand that they are meant for each other, the minister should be faithful to the wife, don't pastor her when you need to be her husband. The wife ought to be understanding and resourceful. If your husband is also very anointed, it doesn't exclude the her from the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Let the single lady who also wants to be 'Pastor Mrs' look before she leaps, else she becomes Ichabod.
God bless you and I love you.
Akinsuroju Femi
© The Fundamentals
Amongst all the sisters that come for counselling, among all the sisters that serve him, and in the midst of all attractions, this minister of God has chosen just one woman to be his wife. He can't marry two, it has to be one, and that one is you. Whether he was led by God or whether he led himself is not the matter now - as you have become his wife; and that fulfills one of the qualifications of being a minister.
This is not only for the women, the man too will gain a great deal if he reads.
There are several other qualifications that makes a minister, but I will just focus on that of the wife. The minister's wife may not be 'made' in heaven, yet at this point, it is necessary to gain some understanding on their roles or their world in its entirety. I may not be able to totally enumerate all that there is in this matter, but I just hope the little stated will help you.
Beyond the need to meet a qualification, the wife of the minister is not just to satisfy a criteria; for you to be a wife means there are roles to play and sure the man would be incomplete without you. He may drip of anointing and call fire down on the altar, his wisdom may be so balanced and wonderful, but the man has a wife and of course she meets a need in his life. If the wife of a minister thinks she is just a show-piece beside her husband in the church, then she may be mistaken. She may make or mar his ministry, depending on how she understands and play her role.
It is also important to ask the minister, if he has met the requirement. The scripture say a man of one wife not two, in fact, other versions emphasize this requirement mainly based on the man's faithfulness to his wife. If you don't have one wife, you have not met the requirement.
We would try and draw some lessons from different women who were wives of different ministers, how they helped their husband and the basic roles they played in the man's ministry.
ZIPPORAH
"And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the LORD met him and sought to kill him. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses' feet, and said, 'Surely you are a husband of blood to me!'" - Exo 4:24-25
So prophet Moses' ministry had just begun, in fact, he was just on his way to the place of assignment and suddenly he was about to be killed, something wasn't actually right about his preparation, one of their sons had not been circumcised, Moses' life was at risk, how can someone die just when he was about fulfilling purpose?
No one is actually sure, if it was the wife who refused to allow the circumcision before or maybe it was Moses, but the major case at that moment was the life of her minister-husband, she needed to do the needful, she summoned courage and circumcised the child.
At this point, the scripture later pointed to us in Exodus chapter 18:2, that Moses' family did not continue the journey with him, maybe he thought they were distractions and all, maybe because he blamed his wife for bringing him to that point where his life was at risk, Moses decided to send his family back and continue the journey alone... In that wilderness, this man of God saw no need for his wife. Zipporah may have made a mistake or something, yet the man wanted to be a lone ranger. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law didn't think it was right for Moses to leave his family in Midian all in the name of ministry, the woman herself needed her husband, though Jethro could provide their meal, yet he couldn't perform the function of husband to Zipporah - he decided to take Moses' family to him.
Many ministers wife are suffering because their husband is 'anointed', they suffer loneliness and only smile when they are on the platform with their husband, many ministers wrongly think their wife is only to satisfy the criteria and they leave them all alone. At a point Moses married an Ethiopian woman, but what happened to Zipporah?
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the ife of his youth." - Malachi 2:14-15
The whole of Malachi chapter two was talking to the priests, the second thing God faulted them with was that they were unfaithful to their wives. I have heard of ministers who abandoned their wives who started out with them and went ahead to look for a 'pulpit wife', God may still be working in your ministry and you look untouchable, but please know - He frowns at this very act.
I personally think that, one of Moses' failings in the ministry was because he didn't really have a good family life. The minster must not make his wife suffer all because he wants to fulfill the ministry, as a mater of fact, she has obtained a part of the ministry. Faithfulness is not too much to ask from a man, she may not be a minister as you are but she is a wife and every wife should have a husband!
Dear pastor, please if you are married, you are also a husband, don't pastor your wife when you need to be her husband. It is important to also bring to bear at this point the exhortation of Apostle Peter in 1Pet 1:7, he said husbands should honour their wives, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life...
You think because she is not anointed, she doesn't deserve honour, the reason some men's ministry isn't progressing is because they have disrespect and dishonoured their wives in many ways. Do not think faithfulness is only a matter of fidelity.
THE PROPHET'S WIDOW
"A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, 'Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.'" - 2Kings 4:1
This minister was indebted till death, he had a wife and two sons that he willed as collateral, he promised to pay, maybe when members bring offering, but he died before he could pay back. The wife didn't have money, she was idle, all the while the man was doing ministry, she was busy praying for her husband... The man died, a faithful minister yet he was died a pauper.
This woman who had a reputation to protect, she needed wisdom, she needed to save her husbands name, if not, the sons of the prophet who served the living God would become slaves od mere men....that is not the testimony she wanted to share; she needed freedom from debt, her husband could only provide debt for her and her children.
While I wouldn't want to pass blames and because I certainly was not there; I would just point the minister's wife to the fact that...some things could be beyond that your anointed husband, he may feel incapacitated by a few needs in his life; do you want to wait till he dies before you seek divine help on his behalf? Thank God she knew what to do, thank God for His blessings of miracles.
God started a business for her, though she waited to be threatened, she would have died of hypertension. While God provided her the oil, he told her what to do with the oil, do business! I am not saying all ministers wife are called to business.
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." - 1Tim 5:8
The minister should also know that though your faith may be strong to trust God for the next meal and maybe you have decided that it is 'if I perish, I perish' matter - understand that your wife may know nothing about that; she must be carried along and strict financial discipline must be adhered to; especially because of the nature of the ministry. If she demands luxury, don't speak in tongues, that God will provide, explain in English language how you cannot afford it for the time been in love.
While it may be that the ministry is your only source of income which is obtainable, it is important that you don't leave your wife in the dark concerning the income, if she knows what comes in, she will not be unnecessarily demanding. Don't make your wife turn your children to 'church project', when you are gone.
MRS ZACHARIAS
"So it was, on the eight day, that they came to circumcise the child; and they would have called him by the name of his father, Zacharias. His mother answered and said, 'No; he shall be called John.'" - Luke 2:59-60
It happened that Zacharias since the visit of the angel Gabriel had become mute, he was the one that the angel appeared to, he was the one who heard the name that the child would be called - but he wouldn't be able to talk, how then will they know what he heard? But the truth for me is that, if a woman is one in spirit with her husband, the things of the spirit will flow in them both. Do not become over critical by saying Zacharias must have written it to her long before then...but the way the people marvelled showed that Elizabeth herself had gotten her own visitation.
Zacharias was a priest who served God faithfully and had many church members to attend to, but when it got to the matters of his home, his wife was carried along. She didn't tell the people that 'daddy will soon talk, so let's wait before we name the baby.' She knew what the mind of God was in that matter and did not allow anyone impose a name on their baby.
Another important matter for me in this case was that despite the man's inability to speak, there was a wife who had a courage to speak God's mind on behalf of her husband, she wasn't intimidated by those who wanted to name the child Zacharias...she insisted on God's agenda. Her husband could have been dumb or incapacitated yet she will do the same thing that God had instructed.
MRS PHINEHAS
"Then she named the child Ichabod, saying, 'The glory has departed from Israel!' because the ark of God had been captured and because of her father-in-law and her husband. And she said, 'The glory has departed from Israel, for the ark of God has been captured.'" - 1Sam 4:21-22
She admired the ephod on her husband, she loved how in looked in his priestly garments, not every young man had the privilege to be from the priestly household; it was an honour she wanted to be part of and fate brought the proposal to her. She saw the glamour of ministry and she ignored the weakness of the man behind the garments; she didn't understand that if a life wasn't consecrated totally to God it was disaster waiting to happen. You cannot substitute holiness for garments!
Many Mrs Phinehas are there today, you like the brother because he preaches so well, you got close and discovered that the brother cannot control his sexual urge, you knew it's bad but you like the idea of being called 'mummy pastor'; so you agreed to marry that man, just for the 'glory' of the office. Do not be deceived when disasters comes, you will not be left out...
So many want to marry a 'godly' man who stands behind the pulpit and drops the 'word', but they haven't taken time to seek God's face if they would be Ichabod or not... She didn't regard the child, she knew the ark of God that made the priesthood meaningful too has been taken away. What is the idea of calling Ichabod a priest without the ark of God. What is the idea of saying you are pastor's wife without the power of God in his life? She knew all along that the 'bro' had something to deal with!
CONCLUSION:
The minister and the wife need to understand that they are meant for each other, the minister should be faithful to the wife, don't pastor her when you need to be her husband. The wife ought to be understanding and resourceful. If your husband is also very anointed, it doesn't exclude the her from the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Let the single lady who also wants to be 'Pastor Mrs' look before she leaps, else she becomes Ichabod.
God bless you and I love you.
Akinsuroju Femi
© The Fundamentals
Pretty message, this is d second time I'm reading a message from ur blog d first time I read from it there was something to take home n today I have learnt to look before I leap. I shouldn't get attracted to d office pulpit or position of d man, I should seek n be sure.
ReplyDeleteHmm. Yes. Yes @Nwafor Sandra
ReplyDeleteGod open our inner eyes.
God bless you pastor Femi