EVIDENCE OF VIRGINITY

“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her, and detests her, and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings a bad name on her, and says, ‘I took this woman, and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin, then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman’s virginity to the elders of the city at the gate…” Deuteronomy 22:13-15

I know for now that only a certified gynecologist can adequately prove if a young girl is still a virgin or not, and the gynecologist has laid down procedures to check the innocence of a lady. All other forms of checking, maybe like the disposition or appearance is not adequate scientifically and anyone can be wrong. The gynecologist knows and can tell if the hymen is broken or still intact. Most times, these things are done in the event of sexual abuse.

In the Old Testament, it is possible that a man marries a young girl whose hymen is intact yet she is not a novice at all in sexual matters, the girl may be well aware of all skills and styles that the man may be tempted to ignore the blood stains and say she is not a virgin and feel she is too ‘skillful’ to be innocent. The matter therefore for the groom isn’t the matter of unbroken hymen but of purity of the mind and heart. The parents of the bride on the other hand can insist and sue the man for shaming their daughter, all they need to do is to bring out the ‘evidence’, which is the bed sheet stained with blood and their daughter would be vindicated and the man will be fined one hundred shekels of silver. He won’t be able to divorce the woman as long as she lives.

Even though there are many benefits of virginity, we must always emphasize that the whole point of an intact hymen should be a pure mind, your virginity is not a ‘trophy’, it is a proof that the inward is pure. A girl that has an obsession for romantic novels and magazines, and addicted to pornography; but has never been penetrated by a boy, can we really say that one is a virgin? Even though there is evidence on the bed sheet.
I agree that sex education is needed in this age for every teenager or girl child, but there is a difference between a being educated and being a virtual expert. Sex education is not intended for lustful desires and all; and should not be. A corrupt mind can be involved in sexual escapades yet cunning enough to make the hymen intact.

This piece is to appeal to the conscience of every unmarried person who prides in superficiality of purity more than the inward proof of it. The concluding part of this article will spell out the real intentions of this article and I hope you read till the end.

WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS?
“Then she said to her father, ‘Let this thing be done for me: let me alone for two months, that I may go and wander on the mountains and bewail my virginity, my friends and I’” – Judges 11:37

The young lady had preserved herself all her life and she had imaginations or had fantasized of how her wedding night would be, she had kept herself for that man who will be worthy of her; but along the line, her father Jephthah went to war and made a vow that whoever or whatever would be the first to meet him after the victory would be offered unto the Lord (Judges 11:30-31). It turned out that when Jephthah returned from war, his only child who happened to be a virgin was the first to meet him. He tore his clothes and had no other choice than to fulfill his vow. The young lady asked for a whole two months to go and cry that she would never have sex. Imagine how all her fantasy and all her dreams ended in one day.

As a matter of fact, a lady’s virginity should not be for anyone other than to please God; she has no need to preserve herself if the motive is not to please God. To be a virgin for ‘pride’ sake or for bragging rights is actually to be like the five foolish virgins who took no reserve oil in their lamps. What if you realize you’ll never marry – will you throw away your virginity and satisfy your lust? What’s really your motive for closing your legs? Your purity is first an act obedience to God before it is of any benefit to you or to anyone. Keep yourself pure for the love of God and not for societal pressure.

When a virgin gets married and finally have sex with her husband, her purity does not end there; as she is still said to be pure even after the husband must have had sex with her. Purity is a lifetime commitment to God, whether married, unmarried, virgin or non-virgin. A person who is faithful to her husband has satisfied some of the requirement of purity and she pleases God. If the reason you are keeping yourself is so that your parents can be proud – then you may be wrong, what if that is not the thing that impresses your would-be husband?

“There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world – how she may please her husband” – 1Cor 7:34

I hope the virgin realizes that her purity goes beyond body but also of the Spirit, it is very important to stress the fact that, the virgin is primarily distinguished because she cares about the things of the Lord. You are not serving in church, in fact you don’t like church – but you claim to be a virgin. What’s the purpose of the virginity if not to serve the Lord. This is not in any way to imply that those who have lost their virginity cannot serve God as that would undervalue or underestimate the blood of Jesus that makes new; but for the purpose of this piece, we focus on virginity.

I know you deserve commendation for keeping yourself and I commend you too, it a good thing that you have kept yourself especially in a perverse generation that we live in today; you should be a model to other young adults who could be on the verge of giving in to lust; but don’t expect a medal for doing what you were meant to do; you are first the sole beneficiary of any act of obedience you carry out. It doesn’t make God purer than He already is, because you have your hymen intact. Let every of your motive be pure just as your actions are.

IS YOUR EVIDENCE, AN OUTWARD ASSUMPTION?
“Now she had on a robe of many colours, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly” – 2Sam 13:18-29

What stood the king’s virgin daughters out was the special apparel they put on; every of the king’s daughters who had not been exposed to sex would proudly put on the robe and she would be respected for it. For me a piece of cloth is not enough evidence of purity, someone’s dressing is not enough proof of her innocence. Anyone can get the material and sew, even a prostitute can decide to dress that way and it will be too risky to assume because of a dress. That’s the situation we are now, people are somewhat pressurized to give an appearance of what they are not in order to be accepted.

Tamar by herself did not consider herself worthy to put on that precious garment the day she was violated by her stepbrother Amnon. By herself she tore her cloths and wouldn’t want to be confused for what she is not. She would rather be true to her conscience than hold on to a public acceptance which is false. That way the girl would court mercy, that way the sincerity of her heart could be weighed right and everyone may know what could have happened, whether it was a mistake or a matter of an unfortunate rape.
The heart of men is not like that today, people will not come out straight and court the Lord’s mercy; they constantly and tirelessly work on their ‘smokescreen’ that shows an outward pretense.

You did it in ignorance you don’t have to lie about it; your sincerity makes the mercy of God override your faults and past mistakes. It was an obvious fact that Rahab was a prostitute yet she came to the lineage of Jesus; you can’t keep trying to impress people based on what you are not. It is insincerity and you need to change. You may be afraid of the condemnation and stigma that comes with acceptance of who you are; but that’s because you don’t know the height of His justification. The one whom the Lord justifies is not guilty no matter the accusing fingers people point. Have you been a victim of rape, your feigning or faking virginity will not heal your wounds. You must come clean so that you can be properly healed by Him who cares for you sincerely. Are you addicted to pornography or some habits, you can’t be free by trying to give an outward show…admit to the Lord and talk to a counselor.

“See now, I have two daughters who have not known any man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof” – Genesis 19:8

The above scripture was about Lot ‘offering’ his virgin daughters to perverse the men who came on divine errand. Anytime I read that passage of the Bible I get the funny feeling that that was a costly assumption. What gave him that assurance that the daughters were still virgins? Was it not these same girls who by their own self, thought of how to get their father drunk and get pregnant by him? These girls didn’t appear innocent to me – but I think they would have perfected their acting. Since the sons of Sodom were perverse, they may have as well not mind or know the value of virginity.

Your parents may be boasting about how pure you are but you know, there had been an error –you fear the day your parents hear of your escapades, they may have a heart attack, so you have continued to act the ‘virgin’. I understand your dilemma and you don’t want to disappoint them; yet it is this same you that points a finger at those who have admitted their mistake. Isn’t that the highest form of hypocrisy? How long will you continue to give a show and not come to Jesus for a healing.

According to the Old Testament law, if the man brings a charge against the lady and the lady is found guilty of pretending to be a virgin when she is not; she is meant to be stoned to death, because she had played the harlot in her father’s house. While such extreme measures may not necessarily be the case or applicable in our time; it also doesn’t make it commendable to pretend to be what you are not. A man who values you should be able to accept you for who you are irrespective of your past; you don’t have to give him surprises on the wedding night.

THE REAL EVIDENCE OF VIRGNITY!
“And Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this happen? I am a virgin.”- Luke 1:34 (NLT)

The question Mary was asking the angel was a very valid question and sensible one at that – how would she conceive with her hymen intact. That kind of situation would have confused the world’s best gynecologist too. How can a virgin be pregnant? They would say it is impossible and can never happen. But, by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost – I know that the evidence of Mary’s virginity was the Holy One in her. The presence of Jesus inside of her was the ultimate proof that she was pure; the Messiah who lives inside this woman was the greatest proof that she was pure. The prophecy was that a virgin would conceive and if she happened to have been proclaimed to be the earthly mother of Christ, then she was indeed pure.

I hope it would not be an exaggeration this moment if I told you that the presence of Christ in you is an evidence of your purity or virginity. It doesn’t matter if you had a past of mistakes or you had been violated before, the evidence that all would-be groom should look at in you is the presence of the Holy One that resides inside of you. The hymen counts for nothing if Christ is not in you, it doesn’t have any worth. Don’t you know that when Rahab by faith believed she became pure and came into that lineage of Christ? Don’t be condemned, if this Jesus is in you – I believe that you are pure.

Someone may be asking ‘How can this happen? I am NOT a virgin’ – but just as the process was for Mary who was a virgin so the process is for you, the Holy Spirit is waiting to overshadow you now… it may not sound logical, and it doesn’t have to sound logical – it has always and will always be a matter of faith. The proof of your purity is not in the world’s best gynecologist’s report; it’s in what Christ has done for you.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s”- 1Cor 6:19-20

Whether you were a virgin or not at the time you were converted to the faith, you are pure; let no one judge as regards physical virginity; you have been purchased and for the Holy Spirit to reside inside of you, it automatically confers the purity status on you. You now need to live for the One who has proven your purity beyond the principle of science.

CONCLUSION:
Purity is demanded of everyone and it is not just an outward show, there is no need for pretense if you have lost the outward evidence; Christ makes you pure and the Holy Spirit in you is the proof or evidence of your virginity.

God bless you and I love you.

Akinsuroju Femi
©The Fundamentals