ALONE WITH HER

"And she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death." - Prov 7:26-27


Though it appears harmless and it really seems that there is nothing attached, you let down your guard because she is a 'sister' - you let down discernment, and you don't think there is something in you to protect - the enemy's plot is beginning to gain ground. A harmless hug, a nude picture sent, a careless joke been traded into your mind, you didn't realise early enough that those are slips and snares - you are carried away by senses of emotions - you have landed on your back. If it was just on the bed you landed it may be good - but you have just fallen from grace - you have become one of the strong men that have fallen.


The matter of sexual sin is a matter of two people who have decided to be instruments in the hand of the devil. It doesn't matter who is tempting who, if one tempts and the other agrees, they have become instruments of destruction to one another - one may just be experienced than the other. This doesn't always have to be the case - one person can come out free, one person can stand out. Most importantly, you can take precaution and never become a victim.


The venom of sexual sins stings to death and unless God delivers, a man or even a woman would become a slave to the devil through fornication or any form of sexual sin. If we become lose and casual about many things, we shouldn't be when it concerns sexual sins. We shouldn't silence our conscience, we shouldn't wish away the feelings, anointing will not substitute for the place of resisting.


I am not trying to indict the female folk through this message, but if we don't know the person the devil is speaking through or devil's instruments, then we are in more trouble than we thought. Being alone with her just means a male and a female being alone, either one of them could be the host. Let us take heed and not become a prey to the enemy.


WHO IS THIS PERSON?
"And it came to pass after these things that his master's wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, 'Lie with me'" - Gen 39:7


The question of who is this person, must be asked by both parties and even when it is not vocal, both should be able to know when a 'longing eyes' is being cast. And you must definitely make your stand known. I agree that Joseph was a slave and really couldn't have insulted Mrs Potiphar - but this is not your case here. Even as a slave Joseph stood his ground, not to talk of a freeborn as you are, except you have been held captive by lust.


Knowing who a person is, helps us to establish an identity for the person, I am not talking about the identity of familiarity, in fact, this is a kind of ascertaining values whether the person has principles or integrity - this cannot be ascertained by mere introduction of words. It can even go further by being a spiritual thing.


So, there she was inside the house waiting for Joseph to come and do his work, she too had a work to be done. While all ladies will not be dangerous, knowing who the person is will help in knowing the risk involved in staying alone with them. If Joseph had known she was inside the house alone, he may have avoided her - but there she was holding him tight, but the way of escape for him was resisting her, the way of escape was fleeing...you should and must be wise.


"Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared?" - Prov 6:27-28


We often overestimate our natural ability, we even become egocentric where we should admit that without the sufficiency of Christ we would be nothing and sometimes we even tempt our bodies, thinking that speaking in tongues will save us when wisdom to flee should have paid off.


For our spiritual brothers, who have obtained the special ministry of counselling the opposite sex alone, you have preached and she has refused to yield, I think it would be better if you dust the sole of your feet and turn, it is wise to channel your preaching to prayers. Some sisters have called you 'brother in the Lord' but you know you don't see them as such, why not take precaution unto thyself.


YOU LEFT SOMETHING BEHIND?
"When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, 'By the man to whom these belong, I am with child.' And she said, 'Please determine whose these are- the signet and cord, and staff.'" - Gen 39:25


This is for those brothers who want to 'chop and clean mouth', they compromise in the secret yet want to lift up holy hands in the open. What they didn't know is that they have left something behind, it is just a matter of time, it will stand as an accusation against you. Judah left his signet and cord you may think - but he left his semen also inside the woman's virginal.


There is nothing that will be hidden forever, for Judah, it took less than nine months for his secret life to elapse, you have done yours years ago, and you think you are smart - don't be deceived you left something behind. What you left can stand as a vindication or an evidence against you.


So Joseph left his garments behind, the rejection he gave Mrs Potipher was too bitter a pill to swallow, she was humiliated and wanted to deal with him - and she used that as an evidence. But God be praised, what he left behind was an indication that he would be clothed again.


Though we all know that Joseph was innocent, but I am not sure what will be said of that lady whose wrapper or underwear is in the brother's house. Sometimes what we leave behind with the partner may be intentions, words that have led her on, beautiful text messages that she considered romantic. When she brings it up, how will you wash your hands clean?


"Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him." - Judges 16:19


For some people, they will leave their destinies behind, the devil won't need to accuse you, but you will become Ichabod, and your strength would have gone. Samson's locks were his destiny and that was what he left behind. What a pity! If only you know that what that person desires from you is your future, you will use the present wisely.


Don't go about pretending as if all is well, maybe you are just under torment now and the aloneness with that person seem harmless, you just might be leaving something behind, it could be that anytime you engage that person in a meeting, you come out less spiritual than you were, beware you are leaving your spiritual life behind. She won't accuse you, your emptiness will speak for itself.


How come you have been reduced to crumbs of bread? it is because you have been sifted as wheat. You know she is not the one, yet you are there wasting quality time. Don't be deceived, it may just be that grace is depleting and the glory fading. Maybe you should be alone communing with the Holy Spirit rather than the person. I am not in anyway saying that we cannot have an alone time with friends, but if you know that carnality is breeding, why risk your salvation.


YOU ARE NOT A CONVERTER!
"I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since you then would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone NAMED a BROTHER, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner - not even to eat with such a person." - 1Cor 5:9-11 (Emphasis mine).


There is a height of hypocrisy in the church today, we have started loving without discipline, we do not tell the sinner the danger that lies ahead, in fact we tell them everything is ok as long as they come to church. If they come and we don't tell them what is wrong, how then can we be sure that we ourselves are safe. Those who are sexually immoral come daily hunting for prey, yet we will not rebuke them.


It is important that I tell those who are standing and who value their salvation to keep away from sexually immoral people. You can preach and if they don't change, please keep your distance - they may appear as if they need counselling, but it is your name they want to cancel from the book of life. Be warned and be careful.


It is better you know that you do not have power to convert anyone to the faith, if they are ready the Holy Spirit knows how to lead you, in fact, never do beyond that which you are led to do..hence you are at a risk. They may say you are 'judging', but do not mind. You are guarding that which is priceless to you.


"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." - 2Tim 2:22


Even after the little sermon Joseph preached to Mrs Potipher, she didn't hear, lust has overtaken her and you must gain wisdom from such. A brother found out that he can't get you to sleep with him through money, he tells you he will start attending church so you can see that he is changed. Who is deceiving who?


Don't preach when you need to flee, it will be needful for you. Don't be naive, no one is saying that the brother should start suspecting every sister, but we can place boundaries to actually play safe. Let us be also led by the spirit so as to stay in the spirit. The spirit should lead you to know when you are deviating.


I know you want to improve on your human-relation skills, but there are some things that may turn out an acid test for you. Be mindful of your spirituality before considering socials. It may not have brought some people down, maybe they have conquered lust, but you may be different - don't become a casualty of lust.


CONCLUSION:
You need to be alone with God not with her, identify that sister, know the brother - they may just want you to leave something behind. Don't forget, don't preach when you need to flee.


God bless you and I love you
Akinsuroju Femi
© The Fundamentals